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Too Small

I have always been too small.

 

Height: 5ft, Weight: 87-90, Pant size: 0-2 (depending on brand), Shirt Size: XS, Body Type: Banana

(Now I am 5ft and range anywhere from 86-90lb) I look back at old pictures of me and I feel disgusted. I was so tiny. And I still am. I can't remember a time where people weren't talking about my weight. All the time asking if I am bulimic or anorexic.


But the fact is, I eat a ton. I eat nearly twice as much as most my friends, and never throw anything up. But I don't gain any weight. I never do, no matter what I eat of how much of it I eat. I CANNOT gain weight no matter how much I try.


My chest is small and so is my bottom. I am not attractive to guys and I never get any attention from them. No matter how great my personality is.


Over the years I have gotten really thick skin about it, but I can't deny that it still hurts.

I don't like wearing skirts, dresses, or shorts. It is very hard for me to find clothes. Not only because I am so small but because I have a strange body type. I's straight up and down. No curves. My legs are long and my torso is very short. Most shirts are too long.

After I eat, I get a "food baby" and my stomach swells to about twice to three times its size.


I hate my body.


I will continue to smile and think of a witty comeback when someone asks me about my body (even though I really want to scream at them and cry), and I won't lose hope that one day, my bottom will look good in our track spandex shorts.

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