Fake It 'Till You Make It

The first time I was ever called fat I was 8 years old.

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I'm currently 17, and I probably resemble more of a pear shape. I'm roughly 5'6, and I weigh around 220 lbs. My pant size is a 14m, with a large shirt.

And the name calling didn't stop until I was 16. I'm currently 17.

I know my weight is unhealthy.  But I also know I'll never look the way I want to, even with excessive exercise and dieting, because my body isn't built like that.  

I have never once looked in the mirror and been happy with what I saw, even when I didn't weigh as much.  

I am/was afraid I'll never really and truly be happy with my appearance and that because of that, I'll let myself miss out on so much.  

But I see the women on this site, and they're all so beautiful, and it gives me hope that maybe if they're beautiful and they're confident, then I can convince myself to be confident. Fake it til you make it, right?